We are Lorena and Claudio, we met very young within a cultural association and have been married for almost 40 years.
The idea of being able to be of help to children who are in a difficult situation had been with us for some years, but it came to fruition when our two sons, now in their late thirties, took off and moved out on their own.
We cautiously delved into the world of foster care through experiences of acquaintances and initially offered our availability for a few hours a week, to be supportive especially in doing homework.
When about three years ago, in October 2021, Laura Del Favero contacted us explaining her involvement within MetaCometa and asked if we would be willing to devote a few hours to Casa Thabit in Udine, we immediately accepted the invitation and began to familiarize ourselves with the children who were there. We had been struck in particular by a little girl, G., who is now in the eighth grade and whom we had been following in her homework for three years given her various problems; slowly we were able to empathize and create an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect.
The request to be able to spend a few hours with all three siblings (in addition to G. there are L., age 10, and R., age 8) came out of the blue at the end of April 2023 when Laura approached us to see if we could be of support to their mother, their only point of reference, who was going through a period of real difficulty.
While we were glad that we could be of help in a critical situation, we were also aware that this would be an important step for everyone so there was some apprehension within us. We tiptoed into their home but realized from the welcome of tea and traditional Moroccan sweets that there was a willingness to open up; the only perplexity on the mom’s part concerned the word “foster care” used formally to explain our role (light day care) but we quickly clarified that they needed to see us as mature uncles (given our no longer young age) who share moments of leisure, sociability, and cultural experiences and who can be supportive of the mother figure certainly not replace her.
We still remember with vivid excitement the first time we were together deciding what to do during the day; the cheerfulness, talkativeness, curiosity but above all education they showed us favorably impressed us.
After this “overwhelming” start, over the months the meetings gradually became more and more frequent. We try from time to time to vary the proposals by targeting both the social and cultural spheres: from playing in the park or at home with board games to trying our hand at handicrafts; from visiting new environments and realities (lake, river, farm, castle…), to seeing movies or shows
theatrical. Choosing activities is not always easy, especially because of the age difference between the eldest and the other two: however, as much as possible we tried to meet the different needs (for example, it happened that we went to see two different movies at the same time). A very heartfelt moment for everyone is the sharing of the meal, not only the eating but especially the preparation. We realized how important and rewarding it is for the older sister to choose what to eat and cook like a true “Masterchef”-in the kitchen she is able to achieve the excellent results that in school, unfortunately, she struggles to achieve. The conclusion of the meal is often reserved for dessert packed by Mom, who thus testifies her gratitude to us.
An invaluable guide who helps us along this path and also serves as a liaison with the social worker is Laura Del Favero; whenever we feel the need for discussion on educational or school-related issues, we call on her because we know we can count on her.
Thanks to his constant dialogue and intermediation with social services, it was possible to arrive at the formalization of a light term day care foster care hoping it would be renewed.
The experience of this first year is undoubtedly encapsulated in simple but meaningful gestures proving that a relationship of closeness and affection has been created while respecting each other’s roles. The cards that children spontaneously gave us on our birthdays show how much they appreciate our discreet presence and how important what we do together is to them.
This particular form of welcoming that we are experiencing is proving to be a moment of inner growth for us that is difficult to describe in words: it is enriching in heart and mind not only us but also our family. The maternal grandmother with them has regained her smile, and our two children listen with curiosity and satisfaction to the accounts of our days and, when possible, take part in them.
